I remember meeting Stan so well. He came to a going away party for a mutual friend when we were both living in Seattle in ohIdon’tknow 2002-ish. He overheard me talking (gosh, that’s weird) and came over to meet me. His first words to me were something like, “You’re from the East Coast and I love you.” That what East Coasters do on the West Coast: We find each other. We get so desperate for someone to swear with, make fun of, and be funny with. Stan hails from The New Jerusalem. Dirty Jersey, baby. What’s not to love.
I lived in Tanzania that summer and when I returned the guy named Stan moved in with me. This dude is so nice and gentle and cool and smart and hilarious and helpful and literally every single good trait there is to have. I loved this kid from the bottom of my hahhhht from the second he moved in. He’s a super techie nerd, (was) a Simpsons enthusiast, and a micro beer connoisseur among other traits. In other words: He’s a Seattleite that was grown in New Jersey.
The first day he moved in as he was painting the walls of his new room(s) he told me that his girlfriend was en route to visit. The doorbell rang and I opened the door to this super cute, pixie cut, smiley smiley smiley faced muffin ball named Lauren. hahahhahaa, We were psyyyyyyyched to meet each other. I think we smiled and shook hands and stared at each other for like three minutes. Just smiling so hard and looking at each other.Comes to find out the reason she had that star struck smile on her face was that she thought I was a professional comedian. I guess Stan told her about his new roommate and said, ‘She’s a comedian.’. It’s not like Lauren doesn’t understand sarcasm or hyperbole so I’m not sure why Captain Literal showed up, but suffice it to say there was some miscommunication that lead to a star struck girl at my front door who was REAL easy to laugh at every single word that came out of my mouth. Nerd.
Fast forward: The three of us lived together in Seattle and our heads popped off with fun and friendship. We’ve had so many good times together I can’t stop laughing as I write this. We lived above Jill and Gabriel who are also fellow soul mates. They have a baby now and they are *highly* featured in this posting. Gabriel officiated their ceremony which was, of course, perfect.
I could, and will and should, write a novel about how much I love these two assholes, Stan and Lauren. I have to sum it up or we’ll never get to the picture part.
Lauren is the smartest girl in the world, but she’s also the funniest. I know, I know, it’s wicked annoying because she also has a button nose and is stupid cute. She’s not vain and annoying though because she’s an ex punk kid from Irvington, New Jersey (big up Lauryn Hill’s home town, same age.). She took up something called exercise six months ago and whore lost 20 pounds so she’s now is the funniest, smartest, hottest chick I know. Also annoying. 😉 She can literally do anything and is an expert at every single thing she tries. I can’t even start this laundry list, but I will give you her blog address and you can crush on her over there. It’s called Lo Lo Finally Speaks and the link is HERE. She’s smarter and funnier than you, but use it as inspiration. Maybe I’ll introduce you guys one day and you can say you know her.
We’ve already gone over Stan, right? Ya, dude loves this chick so hard is ridiculous. They’ve been together for 15 years. What? Normal? Nope. And he celebrates her so hard and with such a lack of envy or jealousy it’s beautiful. He is a selfless, good, and honest man who loves his woman. They are, through and through, each other’s best friend. Their relationship is real and honest and beautiful. It’s a joy to be near them.
Their wedding was on the peninsula of Washington State in a kitschy beach town called Long Beach. It was a Coney Island/circus themed DIY wedding to blow ya mind, son. It was, and will always be, the best wedding Ben or I have ever been to.
Highlights: The four of us walked around Long Beach for kitschy weird photos which was a blast…. the bus she took to Burning Man a few years ago transported Stan and Lauren to their ceremony….. a MARCHING BAND played Scenic World (version) by Beirut to walk them down the grassy path aisle (!!!!). This was never EVER ‘The Lauren Show’ which sooooo many weddings turn into. This was a celebration of their friends and family and it was so gorgeous. Their vows were beautiful and sincere and so heart warming I was double-pump sobbing as they recited them. Shocking. The food served was a mix of regional specialties from all the countries in South America they’ve visited, the music was from an ipod because that’s all ya need when your friends are rad and like to dance. Their friends and families were HUGE helps as they made mermaid pinatas, mermaid kites, planted succulents in salvaged tea cups as center pieces, made circus themed photo facades that people stuck their faces through, among COUNTLESS other details. Cotton candy, popcorn, lots of fun kids stuff….. I could go on and on. I think I just did.
Lauren and Stan? Thank you so much for flying us out and trusting us with this beautiful celebration of your lives together. Thank you for loving me so hard and so enthusiastically for the past decade. Thank you for showing me what a relationship really looks like and what it means to commit to someone when all you want to do is run and hide. Thank you for being way smarter than I am so that I always strive to read more and talk good. Thank you for being so much wittier than I am so my brain gets a workout when we verbally spar. Thank you for a lifelong friendship. I love you both more than you could ever know and you have me for life. And when this life is all over and one of us is waiting for the others to arrive, I will have the beer cold, the puzzles all laid out, and my old man/neurotic east coaster/sort of new york, sortof jersey, sortof boston accent finally perfected. “CHRIST!?!? WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG!?!!??!”
I love you both. Thank you. Enjoy.
Their Welcome Dinner the night before the wedding. This is us in an embrace post toast.